Letting go is good, right?

Now that we’re in a New Year, I’m sure that many of us are thinking about what we’d like to let go. What do you want to let go of? Fear? Insecurity? Shame? Get rid of the bad stuff, right?

Well, duh.

Why should we get any points for letting go of stuff that we never needed in the first place? One time, in my young and naive days, I actually thanked a guy for not pushing me to have sex with him when I said no. He was like, “Um, yeah. That’s like thanking me for shitting in the toilet and not on the floor. Of course I’m  going to!” If he can realize something so obvious, we all can. Is there really any point to re-stating what your heart knows to be true? There are things that are just so obvious that it’s silly to even name. So, why waste energy on that which isn’t serving you anymore, or ever?

How about, instead, letting go of your comfort? How about letting go of your need to be right? Your need to feel safe and secure? How about letting go of thinking that you’re a good person? The label of “good person” comes with a definition or, at least, bullet points of what a “good person” does or does not do. But if we rely on these requirements for a certain identity we’d like to have, then it becomes harder for us to admit when we’ve done something wrong or need help in some way. Good people aren’t racist, right? So, if, as a good person, I believe that, then I won’t look into and work on my implicit biases.

Not only is it super unhealthy to hang on to identities (even the good ones) and not only is it just a way for the shoved-down shadow to eventually boil over, but it’s also way more fun to hang out with people who we feel are real or authentic or down to earth than people who are polished and poised and have everything under control. (Don’t get me wrong – sometimes I really love people who make sure every little detail is taken care of because I am not like that and am thankful for people who provide some structure to my life!)

What can you let go of in order to really stretch yourself this year? Wanna know what I’m letting go of this year?


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